My Newest Fitness Dream

I would like to be a big fish in a small pond.  In Zumba there are Jammers, education specialists and special presenters that draw crowds of people to learn their choreography and work out with them.  I love going to events but I don't think I want to be one of those people.  The time and travel commitment.  A lot of people using my original ideas in their classes.  Neither of these really appeals to me.  Plus, I have no desire to deal with the drama that will inevitably come with it. 

But to be a trainer in one of my water fitness specialties.  That I can do.  I don't know if I can make a big enough impression at the live certification events because there is always someone there who is willing to go above and beyond to be the center of attention.  Even if I perform amazingly, I don't usually get the attention because I blend in with the rest of the group.  But for most of these certifications there are home videos that you have to make to demonstrate your proficiency as a teacher.  In my home gym with my members I can be a rock star.  And if I can convey that to the home office, maybe I'll get a shot.  Maybe I'll apply for a position the next time there is a call.  I would love to inspire other people.  I would love to show people that you don't have to be a skinny white girl to be fit.  

I feel like this is an achievable goal that is on the fringe enough to keep me out of the drama of the local mainstream instructors.  Because lets be real, water fitness definitely takes a back seat to land aerobics and I like that.  I like that outside of the pool a lot of people don't even know that I teach fitness classes.  I want to be the shining star in my own little corner of fitness.  

The Fit Fat Girl

I have prided myself on defying people's assumptions about what a fit person looked like. But, as my waist line has expanded, I recognize that at this point I'm not being honest with myself. It's one thing to be a thick size 12 (like I once was) but I'm not that girl any more. A lot of people treat me like I'm still that girl but all that does is feed my ego and allow me to keep lying to myself.

I get offended when people assume that I'm a walker instead of a runner because of my size but realistically I'm not the picture of fitness and health right now. As I get more involved in Zumba, I love seeing instructors of all shapes and sizes. I recognize that these people are athletes and that they are fit because they're spending several hours a week teaching. But I also recognize that these people aren't as healthy as they could be.

I'm not ever going to be a skinny girl and I wouldn't want to be. But I would love to be that thick size 12 again. I want to get rid of my belly and tone up my body. I haven't been able to run as much during the past few months because I've been having so many joint problems. I know these joint problems are a direct result of my weight gain.

I am currently sitting in a hotel room 5 hours away from home. I have another day of meetings and catered meals ahead of me. I chose to hang out with my co-workers last night and enjoy dinner and drinks on the boss instead of working out. Today is looking like more of the same. I'm feeling pretty gluttonous right now.

My goal is to learn to not over-do the unlimited food and drink that comes with this job and to make time to get my fitness in even when I'm traveling. Tomorrow is a new day. I'm going to push myself harder because I know what I'm capable of when I commit to something.

Zumba

Almost 2 months ago, I posted a blog titled The Dream. In this blog I listed all the things that I wanted to accomplish in my life. The second thing that I listed in this blog was becoming a fitness instructor. I am happy to say that I have achieved this goal (well sort of).

I started studying karate in 1995 after my freshman year in college. I instantly fell in love with karate and worked hard to achieve the rank of second degree black belt. For almost 10 years karate was a regular part of my life. I loved working out and teaching classes and I loved being fit. When I moved to Syracuse, I couldn't find a karate school that suited me. There weren't any schools in my style locally so I stopped practicing regularly. Over the past 5 years I have tried new styles and have traveled 90 minutes away to the nearest dojo that taught my style. None of these worked out for me so I decided that, for now at least, I wasn't going to be able to practice karate. But I needed something to satisfy my spirit the way karate used to.

Last July I started taking Zumba classes. Zumba is latin-inspired dance fitness. If you like to go out dancing and you like to sweat a lot, I would highly recommend it. When I first heard about Zumba I thought it would be perfect for me. I love to dance and miss having people to go out dancing with. I have been taking aerobics classes since I was a kid and love group exercise. I studied abroad in Spain and Puerto Rico in college and earned a minor in Spanish because I love the culture. Well after one class I was hooked. It's like a dance party where you just let go and don't even realize all the calories you just burned (usually around 700 calories for an hour class according to my fitness watch).

This summer I started thinking about becoming a Zumba instructor. I already knew a lot of the dances by heart because I went to class so much and being a fitness instructor would inspire me to get back in shape. This weekend I attended training and officially became a Zumba instructor. I left the training feeling so inspired that I haven't been able to sleep at night because I keep planning my future in my head. I need to do a lot of work to learn the choreography well enough to teach it to other people but I know that I can do it.

Aside from the training being totally awesome I met a lot of fitness instructors who weren't Barbie-doll skinny and looked like normal people. It was really comforting to see that some of the women looked a lot like me. I felt really good about myself for the first time in a long time. My husband was so happy with my new found confidence that he decided to get back on the workout wagon and start going to the gym with me. Which of course means that I'll be more likely to go to the gym because there is someone else there to motivate me.

I have also found myself wearing cuter workout clothes this week. I'm not talking about anything inappropriate but there is no reason that I should be hiding my body in baggy t-shirts and sweatpants just because I'm overweight. I have been wearing clothes that show off my shape in a way that shows me that yes, I need to lose some weight, but that I can still be attractive at my current size.

I plan on working on my resume this week and applying to health clubs that don't have Zumba currently. I have been working on the choreography every night on my own and plan to continue attending my weekly Zumba classes as well. In a couple of weeks I think I will be a force to be reckoned with!

A couple of weeks ago I came to the realization that I weigh about 60 lbs more than I did when I graduated from high school 16 years ago and I felt really bad about myself. Now I'm focused on being healthy and loving myself. I'd love to lose a ton of weight but I'm not going to obsess over it and let it run my life any more.