Friday, May 14, 2010

The More Time I Spend with Women...

The more I love men. I've never enjoyed hanging out with large groups of women. Slumber parties where we do each other's hair and talk about boys? Not a chance. All day at the mall to shop and giggle? I'd rather have a root canal. The conversations are always about things that I don't care about and there is the inevitable cattiness and low self esteem that just make me sick.

It takes me 20 minutes to get ready in the morning whether I'm going to the gym or a wedding. If it takes you longer than that, we can't hang out. I love sports, I love food, I swear like a trucker and I love a good dirty joke. I've never had any desire to watch Grey's Anatomy, Friends, Sex in the City, The Bachelor...the list goes on. I know a lot of you women feel the same way and I'm happy to be friends with you. I don't know if we are in the minority but it definitely feels like it.

I recently went to a bridal shower for my friend Jessica who is marrying her girlfriend of 10 years. They met playing softball in college. So you'd think this was the perfect atmosphere for a girl like me. Not so much. Their softball team (at least 75% lesbian) was very cliquey and only talked to each other. Her high school friends had all become soccer moms and sat in the corner in their Ann Taylor dresses talking about their children and husbands and how they were dying to get some makeup on Jessica to accentuate her cheekbones (not making this up). I am a social person but people were not open to meeting anyone new and were pretty blatant in ignoring me and the other outsiders. It seems that no matter what the situation the default is the bitchy rudeness when you get a group of women together.

I've experienced the same sort of cliquishness in my quilting and aerobics meetup groups. I thought the point of meetup was to meet new people. Every event I have gone to only reminded me that I was not part of any of these little cliques and, short of someone new joining who was also an outsider, I wasn't going to ever belong. I continue to go to meetup events and look out for new meetup groups that match up to my interests because I'm not going back to my hermit phase. But it's hard to push forward when after 5 years in Syracuse I still find myself looking for a place where I belong. If I didn't have my husband and my out of state friends and family it would be a very lonely existence.

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