The Problem with Women

I have always been the wife who was friends with the husbands/boyfriends.  I am rarely comfortable when I'm stuck with a group of women.  It's rare for me to have anything in common with them and highly likely that they will have some annoying girl habits or personality traits that I can't stand.  I blogged about my surprise in meeting a dependable female friend this morning but my brain is telling me it's only been a few months, she still has time to disappoint, like the others.  During one of my last turns as a bridesmaid I blogged about how a previously tolerable female friend turned out to be annoying in the end.  

A few recent examples:

• I can't go out to the movies with you like we scheduled 3 weeks ago because my mother isn't available to babysit my 3 year old daughter.  

This woman's mother lived 4 hours away in another city but came to visit often.  She never looked for a babysitter for her daughter.  Her daughter didn't have any medical problems or behavioral problems that would make her a special case.  Prior to the birth of her child, my husband and I spent a lot of time with her and her husband.  She is one of many woman who lost themselves after the birth of their child.  They put all of their life and energy into the child and forget that they existed as anything other than a mom.  This woman and her husband recently divorced because they stopped focusing on their relationship and only did or talked about things as they related to their child. 

• I can't meet you to run/walk the dogs in 5 minutes like we had planned because it's raining.  

I'm not talking about torrential down pours.  Just a little drizzle.  Here in Syracuse there is a precipitation event every few days.  A week without rain or snow would be unlikely.  Sadly this women did this to me 3 times before I wrote her off for good.  Cancelling at the last minute is generally a sign of a lame excuse, not a legitimate conflict.  And cancelling once it's too late for me not to leave my house is inexcusable.  

• I know we sat down and picked a date for that get together at your house that was convenient for me a few weeks ago but I'm going to have to back out because we're refinishing our bathroom, my son has a soccer game, it was the only day my in-laws could come over, etc.

This is the most prevalent one these days.  Especially with Facebook and Meetup where everyone wants to look social and RSVP for everything.  When I schedule a date to do something with someone that day is blocked out in my calendar.  If someone else asks me to do something on that day I won't book anything because I already have a commitment.  I don't commit to things that I don't intend to show up for and I don't   cancel at the last minute if something better comes along.  I can't tell you how many afternoons/nights/weekends I have wasted on these very same people doing something I didn't want to do but had committed too but these people never seem to be able to return the courtesy.  They are self centered, selfish and unreliable.  These people are not my friends.  They are my acquaintances and they remind me why they will never be anything more than that.