Still Not Getting It

I was excited when I saw an article about running in last week's Sports Illustrated.  Mud, Sweat and Beers by Austin Murphy started with promise but quickly fizzled.  It is further proof that this author and many others just don't get it. 

The article indicates that there is a big running boom going on right now.  The gimmicky races like the Mud Runs and Color Runs have encouraged a lot of people who never thought about running to come out and party.  Not to mention runs that benefit specific charities.  I don't disagree with any of this.  A lot of my friends and co-workers were lured to running by these races that promise a unique experience.  Personally, these races don't appeal to me because of all the hoopla.  But anything that gets people off their asses is a good thing. 

Throughout the article the author differentiates between serious runners or competitors and the rest of the pack.  He considers serious runners to be people who are fast and thin.  Anyone who isn't in competition for a medal isn't a serious runner.  The author also makes several references to the rest of the pack being overweight, out of shape, just there for a t-shirt, not serious. 

Murphy implies that the standards of the running community have been lowered to encourage non-serious runners to compete; road races generate a lot of money and more people equals more money.  Yes, there are more people running now than before but there have always been people of all shapes, sizes and paces participating in road races.  The change is in the attitude of the running community at large.  

In the past when I went to be fitted for running shoes, the running shoe specialist immediately assumed I was a walker.  When I went out to participate in training runs with the local running club they had pace groups up to 8 or 9 minute miles and the rest of us had to fend for ourselves.  My self esteem was already low and this sort of snobbery only made me feel worse about myself.  

During the past couple of years, running community has become more inclusive.  When I go to a training run no one is left behind.  I don't know why this has changed.  Maybe reality shows like Made, Extreme Weight Loss and The Biggest Loser have pumped us up to root for the underdog and to not judge people based on their appearance if they are trying to be better.  

I have been a serious runner for 25 years.  I run 2-4 days a week and compete in several road races every year.  I have never been fast or thin but I don't waddle or have my gut hanging over my shorts as Murphy would have you believe.  A lot of thin people finish after me and lot of heavy people finish before me.  The average race awards the top three people in each age group.  That's maybe 60 people at a large race.  So outside of those 60 people no one else is a serious runner?   Maybe 5% of the field is in competition for a medal.  The other 95% is comprised of people going for personal records, running for the love of it, running for their health, and yes, maybe for a t-shirt and a stale bagel afterward.  

It is always disappointing when a large publication like Sports Illustrated takes a fringe athletic event and completely misses the opportunity to properly represent it.  This article will validate what running snobs think and make average runners feel invisible and judged.  Way to go SI. 

No Headphones Allowed

I am really frustrated with the new trend of road races forbidding participants to wear headphones during the race.  Whether or not your run with headphones on doesn't affect how elite or serious a runner you are.  Enough with all these so called running purists talking about how they connect better with their body and spirituality when they can just hear the sound of their breath and their feet hitting the ground.  If that's how you feel, good for you.  When I don't wear headphones all I can hear is the soccer moms behind me talking about their ungrateful husbands.  To each his own. 

I have been running road races for 21 years.  I didn't start running with headphones until 7 years ago when my husband and I started dating.  He always ran with his Ipod and recommended that I give it a try.  I haven't looked back since unless I'm forced too.  When I have my headphones on I can only hear myself breathing and the music.  I get muffled bits of conversation from the runners around me but not enough to distract me.  Hearing the songs that I love makes it easier for me to tune out everyone else, and tune in to what's going on with my body.  In those rough moments when I just want to quit, a great booty shaking song can keep me running for 3 more minutes.  I run faster, more relaxed and happier when I have music.  

I've heard other people say they like wearing headphones because it prevents strangers from talking to them during the race.  A lot of people listen to coaching and motivational messages or e-books while they run.  I'm sure there are some people who have their music up so loud that they couldn't hear a bus if it was 5 feet away from them but I think those people are the exception.  I always look when I'm crossing intersections, even when the streets are blocked off, because as a runner it's just become a habit.  In my 21 years of running road races I have only heard of 1 participant being hit by a car.  In that situation, a person drove through the barricade and ignored the police officer directing traffic.  Maybe the driver of the car had headphones on.   

I think there are 2 things that contribute to this trend.  1st, we are a lawsuit happy society.  When someone can sue McDonald's for making their hot coffee too hot then someone can just as easily sue a race director for expecting them to be aware of their surroundings. I ran a race last month that banned headphones.  This race was through a very rural section of upstate New York.  I went several miles without seeing another runner, let alone any significant road traffic.  I had an awful time running this race because not only was I by myself but it was eerily quiet.  I ran my worst half marathon ever.  I will never run this race again.  

The 2nd reason is that race directors think it makes their race appeal to more elite runners if they ban headphones.  This goes hand and hand with the new trend of setting ridiculous time cut offs for races that previously didn't have them.  The Mountain Goat Run is a Syracuse institution.  I have been running this race since I moved to Syracuse.  It's a 10 mile hilly course through downtown Syracuse.  Hundreds, and now thousands of runners participate every year.  Elite runners come from all over to compete for medals.  But 98% of the people are there for the challenge of the course, the support of the locals and the beautiful scenery.  Well this year they have established a time cutoff and headphones are forbidden. 

The time cut off is 2 hours and 10 minutes.  That's a 13 minute mile pace.  Most days I average a 12 minute pace and I end up in the bottom half of the middle of the pack.  There are always lots of runners behind me.  13 minutes per mile is running.  Hell 17 minutes per mile is running for a lot of people.  Run/walkers and walkers don't even bother signing up.  The message is clear: average runners aren't welcome.  Thanks for supporting this race for the past 30 plus years but we don't really want you around any more.  

They claim that they have problems managing too many people on the road once Sunday traffic starts.  The race has grown from less than 1000 participants in 2003 to a projected 3500 for this year's race.  During this time the start time has been moved to later in the day.  The last time I participated, a number of runners suffered from heat exhaustion and other heat related illnesses because an hour into the race the sun was at peak the temperature had reached well over 80 degrees.  If they really cared about the runners they would start the race early in the morning like most distance runs.  An early start would encourage more out of town runners to come in the night before and benefit the local economy.  If they limited the number of participants, they could better ensure their ability to protect the safety of the runners.

In 2003, 870 runners finished the race.  Only 1 runner finished above 13 minute mile pace.  In 2009, 1918 runners finished with 13 runners over 13 minute pace.  Last year 2,525 runners finished with 54 runners over 13 minute pace.  I think the popularity of the race has encouraged more people to participate.  More elite runners are coming out along with more average runners and everyone in between.  With a bigger race, you would expect to have a bigger range of participants.  

 

The increase in registration fees over the years seems to contradict the increase in the number of participants and additional constraints placed on runners.  The post-race has been lacking over the past few years as well so it seems like this is a sinking ship.  I have a feeling this will be my last Mountain Goat.  I love running but I refuse to support races that don't provide me with a happy and supportive running environment.  

The Black Hole That Swallows Road Race Pictures

Anyone who has every participated in a road race knows that there are dozens of photographers placed throughout the course.  At the major mile markers you are encouraged to pretend you're not in pain and smile for the cameras.  For runners like me who go into a bit of a trance when they run and are oblivious to other runners and people on the sideline this is especially important.  I have had too many sad/angry/pained looking faces memorialized forever in pictures.  

My husband on the other hand has hundreds of fantastic shots from races. He loves hamming it up for the camera and the camera definitely loves him.  He has even been known to upstage someone else's photo op because he started posing for his moment early and photobombed their shot.  Since I met my husband I have prided myself on paying attention to where the photographers are on the course and posing for pictures.

In the past, I would receive an e-mail encouraging me to check out my pictures on the race website and order my favorite shots.  Or a local running club or newspaper would post hundreds of pictures that anyone could download for free.  But lately I don't know where the pictures have gone.  There are still dozens of photographers along the course but I never see those pictures.  It's frustrating because I love creating scrapbooks of all of our races but without the photos there really isn't much to commemorate the day.  

I see people running with cameras and holding up the course taking pictures of themselves and their friends.  I don't want to be one of those people but it seems like I might have to if I want a memory from the day.  It would be different if I didn't see any photographers along the course but there seem to be more than ever now. My $20-100 registration fee per race should at least guarantee me access to photos of myself participating in the event.  I have e-mailed the local running club that sponsors the races and never received a response.  

Is this like the left socks that disappear into some black hole in the back of the dryer?  Is there some random cache of pictures of average runners just waiting to be discovered.  Should I stop and ask each photographer on the course where I can find their pictures after the race?  It may seem like a petty issue but when you get used to having pictures of yourself being an athlete, it's a disappointment to have those pictures taken away.  

Running with Pride

My struggle to be a faster and more consistent runner is nothing new.  As I've mentioned in previous posts, I have been a runner for 25 years and am in no way a beginner.  I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not going to win races (even though occasionally at less popular races I have placed in my age group).  No one is going to mistake me for a runner when they just see me walking down the street.  On a day when I'm wearing shorts they might notice my muscular legs and think that I workout but my 40 inch waist and big boobs make me look more like a burlesque dancer than a runner.  

In the fall I took a leap of faith and responded to a post about women in my area looking for running partners.  My closest friends have always been men.  I have struggled to make a connection with women for my entire life.  Most women I meet aren't interested in the same things that I am and I tire of their company pretty quickly.  When I first moved to Syracuse I joined a few groups in meetup and through them developed a social life.  I now know a lot of women but I would consider very few of them friends and, outside of meetup activities, don't spend time with them.  

I was very nervous the first day I went to meet my new running partner.  Was she going to be skinny?  Fast? Was she going to be shocked that someone that looked like me responded to her post?  What were we going to talk about for three miles?  Was she going to talk about her kids the whole time?  Would I be able to run and talk? Would I feel okay running without my Ipod?

Kellie and I hit it off right away.  She looked as nervous as I was.  We had a great run and easy conversation.  There are definitely girly things about her that I don't enjoy but I don't let those things get to me.  Having a running partner is worth overlooking a few personality differences.  I know I'm not perfect and that there are plenty of things about me that people don't like but put up with.  I need to extend that same courtesy to other people instead of writing them off so quickly. 

I have run with Kellie once a week since Halloween.  We have not done a race together but we plan to next month.  My running pace has increased to a 10:45 mile for a 5K and stayed there.  I have not run at this pace since 2006.  A few years ago I blogged about my excitement about getting down to an 11:04 pace and my hope that I could get back under 11 minutes.  Now here I am and it happened fairly easily.

I make sure I run three days a week consistently now.  When I travel for work I use the hotel gym.  When the weather is bad I bundle up and brave the cold, snowy weather.  I used to drive pass those people running in arctic temperatures and think how great it must be to be so dedicated.  Now I have become one of those people.  I know that if I don't run during the week, my weekly run with Kellie on the weekend will not go well.  I don't want to hold her back.  

I am still struggling to lose weight but I am getting faster even though my weight hasn't changed.  Imagine how much easier running will be when I can finally get rid of the 20 lbs that I've gained over the past few years.  My joints won't ache.  My thighs won't rub together.  My biggest fear is that I'm going to develop a serious injury because of the stress my weight is putting on my joints.  But that's a different battle. Right now I'm basking in the glow of feeling like a runner again.

I have attended more running events in the past few months than I have in several years.  I have consistently run on my own and participated in road races but I never went to group runs or events at local athletic stores.  I always felt like people would judge me.  That a bunch of elite skinny runners would be in a room talking about their running experiences and I would sit in a corner by myself, left out.  Kellie and I have joined the local running club and attended these meetings together.  And even when Kellie went on vacation I attended these meetings by myself and I survived.  Yes, I felt uncomfortable and isolated at times but I also felt like I belonged.  

My confidence has increased as a result of this newly rekindled running passion.  I talk about running with elite runners without make self deprecating comments about my pace/size.  I accept that I will never be as fast as them but I have been running for just as long, if not longer, than they have and have a  lot to contribute to the conversation.  People recognized my face because I had been coming to events for months.  They accepted me as a runner and I guess, finally, so did I.        

He Said What?

I ran on my first track team when I was in 5th grade (I attended private school where intercollegiate sports started in 3rd grade).  I was a sprinter, running 50-400 meter races.  I continued running track until I graduated from high school.  I was never a star but I was always solidly in the middle of the pack.  I was a consistent runner and a hard worker which won me a lot of sportsmanship awards and lead to me being team captain of my high school track team.  I started running road races when I was 15 because a lot of my friends were on the cross country team.  Running long distances is meditative.  It gives you time to organize your thoughts and relax.  Distance running for me was a welcome change to the stressful, fast-paced sprint races.    

At my fittest I was a size 10.  Not large by general population standards but definitely plus size for a runner.  Over the years my pants size has grown but my love for running has not.  I run a road race most months and attend local running events.  At this point I have been a serious runner for almost 25 years.  I typically run in 5Ks with the occasional 10 K.  Twice a year I pick a long race (10-13 miles) and  spend 3-4 months building up my mileage for those races.  At my training peak I run 25-30 miles per week.  Setting a running goal keeps me motivated.  I rarely place in a race unless there are only a handful of people in my age group.  But realistically, I don't run for any prizes, I run for the satisfaction of finishing the race.  My finisher t-shirt is my medal.    

People who know me, know that I'm a runner and often ask for my advice about shoes, training, etc.  But people who do not know me, do not think I am a runner.  Despite attending multiple events in my area and shopping at the same stores over and over again, no one ever remembers me or cares to treat me with respect.  I am usually asked if I am there for walking shoes.  For the last half marathon that I ran, a race official assumed I was picking up someone else's number at registration and was very vocal (and condescending) about how surprised he was that I was running the race.  When I got a pedicure yesterday I was treated to a monologue from the pedicurist on how serious a runner she was and how fast she runs, etc. so that she could prove to me that whatever I did wasn't on par with what she did.  

Over the years I have come to expect this bias but it still gets to me.  I buy all of my running supplies online unless I need something urgently.  On the internet I find an endless supply of information and products available to me without bias.  The reviews are from runners of all shapes and sizes and help me better pick products that suit my body-type and running style.  In online forums I find that many other runners have been treated to the same ignorant behavior and some of them have even taken a stand and told people off.  I wish that I could do that but generally I am so upset and surprised when it happens that I don't gather my thoughts until several minutes later and then I obsess over it when there isn't anything that I can do about it. 

Anyone who has every attended a road race will tell you that participants vary greatly in age, size, race and fitness level.  I have never been the largest/oldest/youngest person to complete a race and I can't imagine I ever will.  When I look at the race results I am generally in the middle of the pack.  I average any where from 10:30-12:30 minute miles depending on the distance and the consistency of my training.  There are always people who are in the 15-20+ minute mile pace.  I would never think that I am better than those people just because I am faster.  Their goal, like mine, is to be the best them that they can be and surpass personal milestones.  I remember every time someone has called me fat, has devalued my dedication to running or judged me in some other biased way.  I wish that those ignorant people would just shut up if they don't have anything constructive to say.    

44 seconds

So my recent visits with friends who have successfully lost tons of weight definitely dinged my self esteem. Not one of my friends noticed that I had lost weight because they were focused on planning their weddings and having babies. And realistically, my body hasn't changed that much even though I've dropped 15 pounds. A size 14 is generally still too tight and a size 16 is too big so my clothes still don't fit me quit as well as they should.

My husband and some of my co-workers notice because they see me every day but that's not enough. I guess I was expecting people to be like "Omigosh you look so good, have you lost weight?!?". But there was no mention of my weight or any questions about how well my diet is going even though some of them knew I started Nutrisystem back in May. I think that hurt my feelings more than anything else. Even if no one noticed a difference they could have asked me how things were going. That's what I would have done. I went out of my way to tell them how good they looked (and truly they all look great) and to compliment them on sticking to their programs. I just wish they were being as supportive a friend to me as I feel like I have always been to them. And yes, I'm jealous that they were successful and I wasn't.

So imagine my surprise when I ran a 5K this weekend in 34:19. That's 11:04 pace. That's 44 seconds faster per mile than my pace at the 5K that I did in June. At first I thought maybe the June race was an off day but that wasn't the case. Looking back at my previous race times, I haven't run at that pace in more than 3 years. Three years ago I was probably around 185-190 lbs (5-10 lbs lighter than I am now) so that made me feel really awesome.

I started running road races in 1992 and have kept a record of my finishing times for most of the races that I have run over the years. Initially I would randomly sign up for local races but once I graduated from college in 1998 I started running in road races more frequently and eventually started the trend of running one race a month. I miss a month here and there but I definitely run 8-12 races consistently every year. My goal when I started signing up for these races was to become a serious runner. It thought I would be forced to stay in shape and keep running between races. Sometimes that's what happened but, more often than not, I would show up for these races not having run much since the last race and huff and puff my way to the finish line. I have had bursts of motivation before big races where I ran 3-4 times a week consistently over a month or two but this usually fizzled out after the race.

So what is different this time? For one thing, my husband is running these races with me and we keep each other motivated. I have gotten used to being a solo runner over the years. Signing up for most races by myself and then heading straight home after ward. It's nice to have someone there with me rooting for me and commiserating with me. We have also befriended a uber-fit couple who run marathons. They sign up for a lot of the same races that we sign up for and occasionally want to meet up to run together. Not wanting to hold them back or embarrass ourselves every time we see them is keeping both my husband and I going on days when we might want to be be lazy.

I think the most important thing that has changed is that we are setting mini goals and milestones for ourselves. Either running a certain pace or a certain number of miles per week by a certain date. So we are always striving to get better and achieve that next goal. I am becoming a serious runner in a very healthy way and my body is responding to that. I am getting stronger and faster even if it doesn't show that much in my appearance.

In a perfect world, I will get down the to 9:40 per mile pace that I ran my very first road race in back in 1992 but that is more of a long term goal. Right now I am focusing on consistently logging 15 or more miles a week (even if I have to walk some of it) and getting my pace down under 11 minutes (even during the longer runs). And whether I lose 15 more lbs or maintain the weight that I'm at now, I know that I will continue to grow as a runner and that just rocks!