As I creep back up to 200 lbs after successfully hitting a low of 186 recently, I am trying to give myself a come to Jesus moment. Unfortunately, I have been here before. I have an epiphany every week and swear I'm going to be better but it never seems to stick. I'm not beating myself up. I'm not throwing in the towel. Per my New Year's Manifesto, I am determined to figure it out this year.
Weight- I need to plan my meals like I did when I was on weight loss programs. I am not good at making something healthy on the fly. I need to fill my house with enough healthy options for a week so that it is as easy to stick to my guns as when I did Nutri System. If I have to go so far as measuring and separating out my meals into containers that's what I'll do. Diabetes, thyroid disease, high blood pressure, etc are all knocking on my door. I have to get the weight off for good this time.
Exercise- I have been very good with running but not much of anything else. I will be a better runner if I make a effort to stretch and tone my body more. Yoga and strength training are activities that I love but rarely make time for any more. My joints are aching. I am injury prone and stressed. I need to do this before I get an injury that prevents me from exercising at all. Then I would really be depressed.
I also need to practice my choreography more. There is nothing that makes me happier than teaching Zumba but I need to stop with the last minute prep for class. I had not being polished and feeling like I'm being judged for sloppy choreo. I am a great dancer. I need to be a great teacher as well.
Sleep- This one is kind of out of my control. I have been an insomniac my whole life. I do know that sticking to a regular routine helps me sleep better. So I need to develop a sleep ritual an stick to it. If I started feeling rested I would be less stressed and have more energy to get through my day.
Work- I used to be awesome at my job. Then I got comfortable and let everything slide. I continue to get praise and raises despite barely putting in 10 hours most weeks. It's starting to catch up to me and I see an epic fail in my future if I don't pull it together. I don't think my job is in jeopardy but my pride and my reputation are. I need to make it clear that I am valuable and capable of being just as productive as I once was. I want to be a superstar at work again and stop cruising.
Pets- I have more animal books, articles, knowledge than any sane person should. I can go into someone else's house and quickly diagnose what their doing wrong with their pets and help them develop a plan to fix it. Why I can't put that knowledge to work in my own life is a mystery to me. I would be some much happier if my pets were balanced and well behaved. It's not going to happen overnight but the hard work would be well worth getting rid of the guilt, stress and shame that I feel now.
Marriage- I am very lucky to be married to my best friend. Unfortunately sometimes we are more like best buddies than husband and wife. I really need to make an effort to be a better wife and partner and not just a good roommate. We have a great marriage but if we don't fix the little problems they may become big problems down the road. I can't imagine anything worse than losing my soul mate. My husband and I have already made a commitment to focusing on our issues this year. I feel like we're going to hit this one out of the park.
At some point this year I'd like to be able to:
- Walk my dog in my neighborhood.
- Sit on the couch with my dog and cat.
- Stop shopping at Lane Bryant for clothes.
- Run a 10 minute mile.
- Sit and do a crossword puzzle before work or Zumba because I'm prepared and don't have to rush and do anything at the last minute.
- Wake up and fall asleep next to my husband.
- Be proud of myself.
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