Keep Underestimating Me

I love it when people underestimate me.  I try not to be so sensitive about what other people think but it’s hard when these things happen over and over again.

Incident #1- I’m doing a half marathon out of town.  I’ve done 100+ races with more than 40 of them half’s.  Most of my travel gear is fitness or running apparel.  So inevitably at packet pickup people assume I’m running the 5k or 10k.  Even though there are clearly marked lines for each distance and I’m standing in line for the half marathon they assume I’m wrong.  Because I’m a curvy girl and don’t fit their image of what a runner looks like.  Forget the fact that there are runners of all ages, sizes and paces at every race.  Every once in a while I get a condescending “good for you”.  Eff them.  Don’t pat me on the head like I’ve achieved some great feat as a fat girl.  I trained for this.  I run/bike 20+ miles a week.  How dare you ruin a perfectly good day for me.  Worse than that is the person handing me my t-shirt was like “is this your first half?”  God I hate people.

Incident #2- I always take local fitness classes when I travel.  For people who travel a lot that haven’t discovered Class Pass it is awesome.  You can sign up for fitness classes at multiple gyms in the area for a monthly fee equal to your typical monthly gym fee.  Way cheaper than paying for a day pass and a lot more options. 

So I get to the studio early.  It’s just me and the instructor at first.  She was very nice to me.  We chat it up while we’re waiting for the rest of the class to arrive.  I tell her I’m in town for the race and she is clearly surprised.  She tells me to modify if I need to since my legs may be sore.  A couple songs into the class she says “wow, you’re really fit”.  I know she didn’t mean anything negative by it and that I should have taken it as a compliment.  But what sticks with me is that she decided I wasn’t fit when she looked at me.  That her first impression was that I wasn’t fit.  That no matter how many races I run or classes that I take people will always see me as unfit and I will constantly have to prove myself. 

My Love Hate Relationship with Road Races

When I first started running in road races, I was quite the loner.  I was often the only black person there and I was in the back of the pack.  Every once in a while I would make friends during the race.  People who ran around my pace and struck up a conversation during the race or in the recovery tent.  But generally I kept to myself.  I drove to races by myself.  I ran by myself.  After the race I ate my snacks alone, stretched alone and then drove home.

As my confidence increased and I noticed a lot more runners who looked like me and/or ran my pace or slower I loosened up.  I hung out longer after races.  I initiated conversations with people.   I even ran with other people every once in a while.  Occasionally,  I would choose the wrong person to talk to.   Some pseudo-elite runner would bristle at the nerve of someone like me to make a comment about the race or a suggestion about something he was complaining about.  But more often than not my experiences were positive.

For me running is meditation.   It is my time to clear my head, to fantasize, to work through my problems.   I have been told by people that they waved to me or yelled my name during a race but I ignored them.  I am so much in my head during a race that I often don't notice other people, landmarks and course markers.  Luckily I have only gotten lost twice!

Lately running has been less therapeutic and more stressful.  The local 5ks have become a place for families to gather.  For people to sight see and take pictures.  For large herds of inexperienced and rude people to block the paths of runners and turn a leisurely run into an obstacle race.

I find myself running off road to avoid people that are running 5-people across or swerving to avoid people who come to a dead stop in the middle of the road.  I waste energy passing these people or being angry at them.  I find myself tense and relieved when the race is over.

One solution is to line up closer to the front.  But then I risk making myself an obstacle for the faster runners.  I don't want to ruin anyone else's race.  A better solution is to take the local 5ks out of my rotation.  To only participate in longer or more difficult races that will not attract those people. 

This will take  me back to my loner days.  There will be more elite runners.  There will be less people that look like me.  I will be in the back if not last.  But I will have peace again.   I will be able to run my race with my shoulders relaxed and my head cleared.  It will be worth it.  I just hope my self esteem is strong enough to take it in stride.

No Headphones Allowed

I am really frustrated with the new trend of road races forbidding participants to wear headphones during the race.  Whether or not your run with headphones on doesn't affect how elite or serious a runner you are.  Enough with all these so called running purists talking about how they connect better with their body and spirituality when they can just hear the sound of their breath and their feet hitting the ground.  If that's how you feel, good for you.  When I don't wear headphones all I can hear is the soccer moms behind me talking about their ungrateful husbands.  To each his own. 

I have been running road races for 21 years.  I didn't start running with headphones until 7 years ago when my husband and I started dating.  He always ran with his Ipod and recommended that I give it a try.  I haven't looked back since unless I'm forced too.  When I have my headphones on I can only hear myself breathing and the music.  I get muffled bits of conversation from the runners around me but not enough to distract me.  Hearing the songs that I love makes it easier for me to tune out everyone else, and tune in to what's going on with my body.  In those rough moments when I just want to quit, a great booty shaking song can keep me running for 3 more minutes.  I run faster, more relaxed and happier when I have music.  

I've heard other people say they like wearing headphones because it prevents strangers from talking to them during the race.  A lot of people listen to coaching and motivational messages or e-books while they run.  I'm sure there are some people who have their music up so loud that they couldn't hear a bus if it was 5 feet away from them but I think those people are the exception.  I always look when I'm crossing intersections, even when the streets are blocked off, because as a runner it's just become a habit.  In my 21 years of running road races I have only heard of 1 participant being hit by a car.  In that situation, a person drove through the barricade and ignored the police officer directing traffic.  Maybe the driver of the car had headphones on.   

I think there are 2 things that contribute to this trend.  1st, we are a lawsuit happy society.  When someone can sue McDonald's for making their hot coffee too hot then someone can just as easily sue a race director for expecting them to be aware of their surroundings. I ran a race last month that banned headphones.  This race was through a very rural section of upstate New York.  I went several miles without seeing another runner, let alone any significant road traffic.  I had an awful time running this race because not only was I by myself but it was eerily quiet.  I ran my worst half marathon ever.  I will never run this race again.  

The 2nd reason is that race directors think it makes their race appeal to more elite runners if they ban headphones.  This goes hand and hand with the new trend of setting ridiculous time cut offs for races that previously didn't have them.  The Mountain Goat Run is a Syracuse institution.  I have been running this race since I moved to Syracuse.  It's a 10 mile hilly course through downtown Syracuse.  Hundreds, and now thousands of runners participate every year.  Elite runners come from all over to compete for medals.  But 98% of the people are there for the challenge of the course, the support of the locals and the beautiful scenery.  Well this year they have established a time cutoff and headphones are forbidden. 

The time cut off is 2 hours and 10 minutes.  That's a 13 minute mile pace.  Most days I average a 12 minute pace and I end up in the bottom half of the middle of the pack.  There are always lots of runners behind me.  13 minutes per mile is running.  Hell 17 minutes per mile is running for a lot of people.  Run/walkers and walkers don't even bother signing up.  The message is clear: average runners aren't welcome.  Thanks for supporting this race for the past 30 plus years but we don't really want you around any more.  

They claim that they have problems managing too many people on the road once Sunday traffic starts.  The race has grown from less than 1000 participants in 2003 to a projected 3500 for this year's race.  During this time the start time has been moved to later in the day.  The last time I participated, a number of runners suffered from heat exhaustion and other heat related illnesses because an hour into the race the sun was at peak the temperature had reached well over 80 degrees.  If they really cared about the runners they would start the race early in the morning like most distance runs.  An early start would encourage more out of town runners to come in the night before and benefit the local economy.  If they limited the number of participants, they could better ensure their ability to protect the safety of the runners.

In 2003, 870 runners finished the race.  Only 1 runner finished above 13 minute mile pace.  In 2009, 1918 runners finished with 13 runners over 13 minute pace.  Last year 2,525 runners finished with 54 runners over 13 minute pace.  I think the popularity of the race has encouraged more people to participate.  More elite runners are coming out along with more average runners and everyone in between.  With a bigger race, you would expect to have a bigger range of participants.  

 

The increase in registration fees over the years seems to contradict the increase in the number of participants and additional constraints placed on runners.  The post-race has been lacking over the past few years as well so it seems like this is a sinking ship.  I have a feeling this will be my last Mountain Goat.  I love running but I refuse to support races that don't provide me with a happy and supportive running environment.  

The Black Hole That Swallows Road Race Pictures

Anyone who has every participated in a road race knows that there are dozens of photographers placed throughout the course.  At the major mile markers you are encouraged to pretend you're not in pain and smile for the cameras.  For runners like me who go into a bit of a trance when they run and are oblivious to other runners and people on the sideline this is especially important.  I have had too many sad/angry/pained looking faces memorialized forever in pictures.  

My husband on the other hand has hundreds of fantastic shots from races. He loves hamming it up for the camera and the camera definitely loves him.  He has even been known to upstage someone else's photo op because he started posing for his moment early and photobombed their shot.  Since I met my husband I have prided myself on paying attention to where the photographers are on the course and posing for pictures.

In the past, I would receive an e-mail encouraging me to check out my pictures on the race website and order my favorite shots.  Or a local running club or newspaper would post hundreds of pictures that anyone could download for free.  But lately I don't know where the pictures have gone.  There are still dozens of photographers along the course but I never see those pictures.  It's frustrating because I love creating scrapbooks of all of our races but without the photos there really isn't much to commemorate the day.  

I see people running with cameras and holding up the course taking pictures of themselves and their friends.  I don't want to be one of those people but it seems like I might have to if I want a memory from the day.  It would be different if I didn't see any photographers along the course but there seem to be more than ever now. My $20-100 registration fee per race should at least guarantee me access to photos of myself participating in the event.  I have e-mailed the local running club that sponsors the races and never received a response.  

Is this like the left socks that disappear into some black hole in the back of the dryer?  Is there some random cache of pictures of average runners just waiting to be discovered.  Should I stop and ask each photographer on the course where I can find their pictures after the race?  It may seem like a petty issue but when you get used to having pictures of yourself being an athlete, it's a disappointment to have those pictures taken away.