Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Staying on the Wagon

I envy people who have the will power to change a bad habit and stick to their program. When I did Nutrisystem a couple years ago I was very dedicated for 2 months. I had a couple days a week where I ate whatever I wanted but outside of that I stuck to the program. I managed to lose 15 lbs and felt great. But once I went off Nutrisystem, I went back to my old eating habits and put the weight back on plus a few extra pounds.

I love food. I'm sure there is an emotional component to my eating but I genuinely enjoy the way food tastes. I watch all these weight loss shows and there always seems to be a traumatic event that triggered the person being overweight. I had a stressful child hood but I have always eaten an obscene amount of food; I don't think there was one event that put me over the edge. Even when I was kid I was known to my friends and family as the person who could put food away. Maybe that's it, just the attention that I get from eating.

People that I have known for a long time seem to be obsessed with what I'm eating. If I'm eating healthy they tease and ask me if I'm on a diet. If I'm gorging myself there is an equal amount of negative attention. Eating a grilled chicken salad just isn't as enjoyable as getting a big juicy burger but people rarely comment when I order the really unhealthy stuff. I know I could never be on Nutrisystem or a program like that for the rest of my life but I wonder if I would have stayed on it longer if my body would have gotten used to eating less food.

I know that portion control is a big part of it. I know that a small fry from McDonald's is just as delicious as a large fry but somewhere in my brain there is a switch that tells me I'm not going to be satisfied if I don't get the largest size. There are days when I make good choices all day and then gorge myself for dinner. I am out of town for work this week and find myself feeling sick because I ate too much or falling asleep during meetings because of the food coma.

I try to remind myself of the Kate Moss quote "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" but my brain doesn't really believe it. I want to be one of those people that makes a life style change. I want to have a handle on my eating habits before I turn 35 this summer. I have a number of minor health problems that are either 100% caused by or totally aggravated by me being overweight.

I'd like to think that the self esteem boost that I would get from developing self control and being fit would be enough motivation for me but it hasn't been in the past. I will move forward and try to be better in the future and not harp on the past but it is much easier said than done.

1 comment:

  1. WoW I could have written this entry myself pretty much anytime in the past 5 years. Other than having tried Nutrisystem. I've NEVER had a healthy relationship with food. I'd always used exercise as my vice to be able to keep my supersized portions. After age 25 it stopped working as I'd always intended. Your stomach DOES shrink & does get used to eating less just like the weight doesn't drop on your overnight it doesn't drop off you either... well not overnight... but in a few weeks, yes you can. I was like, I'm 30 I'm sick & tired of trying to do do this & not getting anywhere. There has to be SOMETHING that works that doesn't have "may cause anal leakage" stamped on the side of it, *cough* ALLI *cough* let me know if you are interested in more info regarding the 24 day challenge which has lead to my now 3 months of virtually all snowballing self esteem train ride of weight loss. It's been all downhill with my weight & all uphill with my energy. Best part about it? You don't have to do it alone! I help coach you thru it. :)