BET Takes A Giant Step Backward

On the season finale of Being Mary Jane, Mary Jane ended her relationship with "The White Boy".  Not really a surprise since all of her relationships are unhealthy and end in a ball of fire.  Fans expect at least one new love interest per season and, subsequently, one epic breakup.  Usually the relationships have a honeymoon period and the viewers get sucked into thinking this one might last before the hammer drops.  But the difference between the other break ups and this one is that nothing actually happened this time. 

There was no argument that lead to this breakup.  Just Mary Jane deciding one day that she was black and could not maintain her blackness if she dated a white boy.  She spouted off all kinds of BS about how black men got her in a way that white men never could and that she couldn't date a white man because of this because it was some sort of betrayal to her race.  WTF.

So all black marriages have a 100% success rate because they just get each other?  Or 0% of interracial marriages last because they don't?  Shame on BET for this sort of ignorant 1950's mindset.  Black people and white people are different and they shouldn't be together.  Stay with your race.  Never stray from what society tells you is best for you. 

Relationships work when people listen to each other, respect each other and let their guard down enough to open themselves up.  For all the single women out their who cheered when Mary Jane ended the relationship and in the next breath complained to their girlfriends about how hard it is to find a good (black) man shame on you too.  I'm so over media telling me who I'm supposed to be.  The last place I expected to see racism promoted was on a network that is supposed to make me feel good about being black.  

Weak Women in Print

It feels like every book that I have read lately revolves around a collection of weak women.  They are either victims of some sort of abuse or completely dependent on men for every aspect of their lives. This is the narrative:

My husband doesn't respect or treat me well but I'd be lost without a man to do everything for me.  I don't know how to navigate this world without my big strong husband to make me feel safe.  I am of course the mother of daughters who are somehow strong and independent despite not having a strong female role model (like their mother).  I am resentful and bitter.  But when I am left alone (husband leaves me either tragically or voluntarily) I must learn to survive without him guiding me.  I went to college and had a career but I left all that behind to support my man.  Now I've been out of the work force for a decade and am not qualified to do anything but whine and lament the loss of my rock.   How much is our mortgage? Who is the insurance company? Oh woe is me how to deal with all these things alone.  No, I didn't work or pay attention to household finances.  I was planning parties or hanging out with the other PTA moms at the gym/ Target/Starbucks.  Gimme a break.

I'm so over the weak female lead in every novel.  The supporting female characters are generally catty, hateful bitches who are just as weak and inept as the main character, making it impossible for them to be a good friend to them.  The worst of it is that most of these novels are written by women.  Seriously, is that how you view women or worse yet yourself?  Is this the image of women that you want to put out into the world?  Are these the only type of women that you think people will find interesting or believable?  This weakness is rarely important to the story.  But yet it is always there.

I often find myself running a Bechdel test in my head.  Can two female characters have a dialogue without talking about a man?  In my own personal take on the Bechdel test I also look for conversations between women that don't revolve around their children.  Enough already.  Women are not weak, baby-making waifs whose can't tie their shoes without a Xanax and a man.  I like my characters likable, maybe even relatable.  What I don't like is hating a character and celebrating all the bad things that are happening to her.  Hoping the next book I read breaks this trend.