The Fit Fat Girl

I have prided myself on defying people's assumptions about what a fit person looked like. But, as my waist line has expanded, I recognize that at this point I'm not being honest with myself. It's one thing to be a thick size 12 (like I once was) but I'm not that girl any more. A lot of people treat me like I'm still that girl but all that does is feed my ego and allow me to keep lying to myself.

I get offended when people assume that I'm a walker instead of a runner because of my size but realistically I'm not the picture of fitness and health right now. As I get more involved in Zumba, I love seeing instructors of all shapes and sizes. I recognize that these people are athletes and that they are fit because they're spending several hours a week teaching. But I also recognize that these people aren't as healthy as they could be.

I'm not ever going to be a skinny girl and I wouldn't want to be. But I would love to be that thick size 12 again. I want to get rid of my belly and tone up my body. I haven't been able to run as much during the past few months because I've been having so many joint problems. I know these joint problems are a direct result of my weight gain.

I am currently sitting in a hotel room 5 hours away from home. I have another day of meetings and catered meals ahead of me. I chose to hang out with my co-workers last night and enjoy dinner and drinks on the boss instead of working out. Today is looking like more of the same. I'm feeling pretty gluttonous right now.

My goal is to learn to not over-do the unlimited food and drink that comes with this job and to make time to get my fitness in even when I'm traveling. Tomorrow is a new day. I'm going to push myself harder because I know what I'm capable of when I commit to something.